About Wellbeing

The Beginnings

I developed the presentation following my 4 years training qualifying, and experience in the field, as a therapeutic counsellor. I realised how good it would be to share particular gems. These gems I have ‘distilled’ from the published works of the world’s leading expert psychologists. I present this knowledge in such a way that the man or women in the street can understand it and most importantly apply it to themselves, simply seeing the relevance in their own lives and struggles. I have given the presentation a number of times, over the past few years, and always receive positive testimonials, that I would be happy to share.

Description of my Well Being and Emotional Health Talks

I base the talk on six modes of discipline within psychotherapy learning. These include the following;

1. Maslow’s hierarchy of need – Maslow
2. Games people play – Eric Berne’s ‘Psychology of Human Relationships’ TA
3. The Drama triangle – Stephen Karpman’s work with dysfunctional social interaction – TA
4. Parent Adult Child – TA
5. Thoughts don’t make facts – CBT
6. I’m OK – You are OK – Eric Berne – TA

Most importantly I explain how all of these concepts affect all individuals. I help the participants understand the relevance of these teaching in their own lives. I also include what I refer to as ‘Theory and Anecdotal’. There are between 12 and 18 short stories or reflections I share including Martin Seligman’s ‘learned helplessness’, one of a million not one in a million, how to deal with conflict, issues within the family, transference and how it affects relationships, ‘rules for living’, limiting beliefs and mindfulness.

In my opinion it is a good idea from time to time to evaluate how we are doing and consider are we OK about ourselves and our lives. As a Well Being Coach this subject is close to my heart. You see its so important to feel OK about ourselves because if we don’t feel OK that ‘lack, gap, need’ will make us vulnerable in some way whether that be over eating, heavy drinking or excessive gambling to fill the void. The lack gap or need can also transfer onto ‘others’ or one particular ‘other’ such as a close friend or ‘better half’. This issue could ultimately lead to the break-down of relationship and continue on to forthcoming relationships.
Having friends leads to a longer life – they boost our self-esteem and provide support and as people age we are more selective about those we spend time with, so for this reason alone I suggest it is good to ensure we are all OK about ourselves (and be good to be around) and not to emit our NOT OK stuff onto others and in doing so push others away.
By NOT OK stuff I mean when we or others are always moaning about something or other – it can be hard to continually support them-perhaps you recognise the feeling of barely having enough energy for yourself let alone the energy for others!
There are 3 main human conditions and behaviours that I am going to share–and hopefully you can identify yourself and decide if you are happy where you are.
And I shall begin with I’m Ok and you are OK
In essence the ideal personal thought and feeling is that I’m OK and you are OK. This would manifest itself with thoughts and feelings such as; I feel good about myself, my achievements, I respect myself, my values and I’m happy with my lifeI think others are OK, and I respect others and I treat others as I would like to be treated myself
I’M OK – YOU ARE NOT OK
I think I am wonderful, I don’t respect others, I think I can do everything better than you/anyone / ‘move out the way – I’ll do it’, I think everyone else is a loser, I cannot accept other’s suggestions, sometimes thought of as dogmatic, I tend to be critical of others in everything they do, I tend to bully others, I need to have my own way
I’M NOT OK – YOU ARE OK
I don’t like myself, I don’t like my life, I feel almost comfortable being a ‘victim’ as it has become my norm, I tend to pity myself, I think no one likes me, I am resentful of others / I think everyone else is having a great time, I idolise others, I am resentful of others success
I hope you can recognise one or more of these characters! And I hope you can commit to being an I’m Ok and You are OK sort of individual. It’s a good place to be.